Andy & Jessica

For several weeks, I’ve been experimenting with a couple recipes to make the best pizza I can from scratch at home. I’ve gotten it pretty good after a lot of trial and error. This is what I’ve come up with.

For the crust, I use the following recipe for a deep-dish dough, which is no different than the one I previously posted. I just figured out the best way to bake it.

1 1/3 cup water
2 teaspoons sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons cornmeal
2 cups unbleached all purpose flour
1 cup bread flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
3/8 teaspoon MSG (optional)
1 1/2 teaspoons yeast

(You may use all-purpose flour for this recipe if doing it by hand).

Bread machine: Add ingredients to machine bread pan in order given or as per manufacturer’s instructions. Set to ‘dough’ mode.

Since the original post, I have tried with MSG (a product called “Accent”), it doesn’t seem to add enough to the taste to recommend it. I also found a much better way to bake it. Almost as important as the ingredients themselves is how you prepare this. It is best to have a pan that is made for deep-dish pizzas. Mine is about a 12″ metal (aluminum?) pan that I bought online from a restaurant supply website. I let the bread machine do it’s thing, and then take it out when it is done (when it beeps). Before putting it in the pan, I add about 3 tablespoons of vegetable oil to the pan. This is important – don’t just spray it with Pam and call it good. 3 Tbps of oil is more than what’s needed to keep the dough from sticking to the pan, it also served the purpose of frying the dough a little while it’s in the oven, which results in a much better tasting crust. Once the pan is oiled, put the dough in it and press it out to fill the pan. Leave the edges a little thicker than the middle to give a nice crust edge when it’s done baking. Then give it another hour or so to rise some more before adding sauce, cheese, and toppings.

For sauce, we used the Ragu stuff you can buy by the gallon at Sam’s club for about $3 for years. It works, but it makes a pretty pathetic pizza. Spend a little extra money and get some good sauce. Our local grocery store stocks sauce from several local chains, including Green Mill, Davani’s, and Rocky Rococco. We like the Green Mill the best, but any of them are better than the Ragu (I’d rate the Ragu about 3 out of 10 and the worst of the chain sauces about a 7). However, if you really want a good sauce that you make yourself from scratch, I created the following recipe after a bit of experimenting that is quite good:

1 (8 oz.) can of Tomato Sauce
1 (6 oz.) can of Tomato Paste
1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
1 teaspoon Sugar
1/2 teaspoon Salt
1/2 teaspoon Basil
1/2 teaspoon Oregano
1/2 teaspoon Garlic Powder
1/4 teaspoon Onion Powder
1/8 teaspoon Black Pepper

Just mix it all together and apply to your pizza crust. You’ll get a lot more out of this recipe than you need for one pizza. Depending on how much you like to put on, you may be able to get two pizzas out of it.

We have a convection oven, and I like to bake the pizza at 375 degrees for about 15 minutes, but your millage may vary. My experience with the convection oven is that it bakes about twice as fast as a normal oven. If you don’t have convection, I would guess it would take about 25 minutes to bake, but that is just a guess. It’s a homemade recipe, so pick a temp and keep an eye on it.

Of course the cheese and toppings are up to you. Everyone likes their pizza their own way. I like to fry up a bunch of bacon, tear it into small pieces after it’s cooked, and have pepperoni and bacon pizza.

You may have to experiment a little until you get it the way you like it, that’s okay. A few mediocre pizzas is worth getting it figured out. Now that I have it down, I like my pizza every bit as much as a restaurant pizza.

My little baby Titus was born on January 30, 2009 at about 12:40 p.m. I would be rejoicing except that my little baby was born dead.

God created little baby Titus on about December 4, 2008. I learned I was pregnant with him just 2 days after Christmas. I was so thrilled since I had been trying to get pregnant for months. The pregnancy appeared to be right on track. I was sick, just like I was with Jude. I went to the doctor when I was considered 8 weeks along and they confirmed pregnancy. I would later find out that my baby had already died.

When I was considered 9 weeks along, I began bleeding. I was so worried. The ultrasound technician told me on a Monday that it didn’t look good and that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. The baby was 1.5 centimeters long and was measuring 2 weeks smaller than he should have been measuring, making them estimate that baby Titus had died when he was about 7 weeks and 4 days old (meaning after having grown for about 5 weeks and 4 days since the medical field always adds two weeks to the actual gestation period).

The doctor recommended a surgery called dilation and curettage (D&C) to remove the baby and placenta from my body. I asked him how sure he was that the baby was dead. He said he was 99.99% sure the baby was dead. I said I would never agree to have the baby taken out of me until I was 100% sure that the baby was dead. I went in two days later for further testing (including blood work) to confirm the baby was dead. I could tell the baby was starting to break down (decompose) a bit since he looked less defined on the ultrasound than he did just 2 days earlier.

I had to decide between natural delivery or the D&C surgery. The doctor told me that no one does the delivery option anymore since involves real labor. When I asked him if the baby would look like a baby, he said that the baby would instead look like a blob of tissue. There were also issues about whether I would be able to get my baby back from pathology after the D&C without involving a funeral home.

I had a bad feeling about the D&C, but reluctantly scheduled it after a doctor agreed to do it on the following Saturday so I wouldn’t have to miss work. By the next day, I cancelled the D&C after hearing from my sister’s friend who faced the same decision as me 2 times and chose the delivery option.

My mid-day on Friday (of the same week in which I learned my baby was dead), I was in full labor, although I didn’t really know it. I knew I was aching, crampy and in enough pain that I could no longer concentrate on my work. I didn’t know the imminency of the birth. I was in the bathroom at work when little Titus came out. I knew it was him right away. His dark black eyes were peering out at me through the transparent amniotic sac. I held him in my cupped hand and waited for some nice, anonymous co-worker to get me a cup from the kitchenette. I was sad. He really was dead.

By this time, Andy had shown up and I was on my way home. I put the cup that contained Titus’ body on the bathroom counter while trying to decide what to do with him. I knew I wanted to see him. I knew I wanted to hold him. I knew I wanted to kiss him. I tried to talk Andy into cleaning Titus up, but he didn’t have it in him.

I’m not sure how I did it, but I got a knife and separated Titus from the placenta and threw the placenta away. I then got a pin and popped a hole in the amniotic sac to drain the fluid. I then carefully peeled the amniotic sac off my little baby. I cleaned him off with an aspirator filled with water. After he was all cleaned off, I held him in the palm of my hand and cried. My little baby. So small and delicate. After having grown for only 5 weeks and 4 days, he was 1.5 centimeters long. He had a little (but large) head, piercing black eyes, a soft body with 2 arms and 2 legs. There was no denying that he was a baby, not a blob. I then carefully placed him in a wooden box that came with my wedding ring. I said good-bye and shut the box. We’ll have him buried as soon as we can on my parents’ land.

We told Jude that the baby wasn’t going to come live with us and that he was instead living in heaven with Jesus. Andy likes to say that Titus is saving a spot for us in heaven. I look forward to meeting my baby someday and hearing him call me Mommy.

I’m not sure why God created this beautiful child and then took him away from me so quickly. Maybe it is so I can share my story – that I gave birth to a 5 week and 4 day old baby, who was a baby and not a blob.

As you may have heard, Andy lost his job on Friday. He was one of 180 people let go by Opus Corporation on Friday. Can’t really blame the company since it’s not building any buildings and shouldn’t continue to pay people to do almost nothing.

As a result, Andy’s taking a shot at being a stay-at-home dad. We’ll see how he does. I’m a little worried that he won’t meet my expectations and that I’ll want him to go get a job. Maybe he’ll surprise me. I drafted some pretty detailed schedules that summarize activities I would like him to do with Jude and a cleaning schedule.

After months of trying and without weaning Jude, I have finally managed to get pregnant, with Andy’s assistance, of course. I think that the baby is probably due the very first days in September, meaning that if all goes well, the baby will arrive at the end of August. While I was taking the test and before I had gotten the result, I asked Jude if there was a baby in Mommy’s tummy. He lifted up my shirt to expose my belly and shook his head and said, “No.”

Jessica and I got back a few days ago from a great time in the warm weather. We took a week-long cruise to the Caribbean. Stops included: Samana (in the Dominican Republic), Tortola, St. Thomas, and Great Stirrup Cay – Norwegian Cruise Line’s private island in the Bahamas.

The week was a great time for the three of us to spend together. It was our third cruise, but the first we’ve taken alone. It was also the most time we’ve spent with Jude since we both went back to work, Jessica when he was 3½ months old, and me when he was 6 months old. He had a good time too!

We left Saturday the 13th, getting up early in the morning to make our 7:30am flight to Miami. Once we got there, we headed straight to the ship, after a bit of a wait for our bus to show up (we paid NCL for a ride to the pier). Once there, check in was pretty quick and painless. We got our stuff dropped off and headed straight for some food – I hadn’t eaten much all day and it was about 3:00pm.

Sunday was a day at sea, chuggin’ our way toward the Dominican Republic. We sailed right down the north coast of Cuba, and could often times see it off the right side of the ship. This was a day to explore the ship and take advantage of what they had to offer. There was a kids center that we had hoped to take advantage of for Jude, but they required that kids be at least 2 and potty trained. Since Jude was neither, we didn’t get to use it. Interestingly, they didn’t allow parents in there, so we probably wouldn’t have used it anyway since Jessica cherishes her time with Jude and wouldn’t part with him anyway. They did have a sort-of program for those under two. They called it “under two zoo.” It was basically a bunch of toys set aside in a conference room and a door left open for those interested. Jessica liked it, I preferred finding a good place on the ship to let Jude run free, the promenade and the pool deck were good places. They also had a kids pool area complete with water slides. Signs stated that only potty-trained children were allowed, but they seemed to turn a blind-eye to smaller kids so we took advantage. Jude loved it, and even enjoyed doing the water slides himself – with no assistance from us.

In Samana, we didn’t know what to do on our own, so we broke with our standard procedures and booked an excursion with the ship. We went on a boat tour of mangrove forests and some interesting caves (which you get out of the boat to see), followed by some time at the beach on a private island owned by a hotel. Jessica really hoped to catch a glimps of some sea lions, as they had a program (we didn’t want to pay for) with sea lions. Funny enough, while she was off looking for a restroom, a couple people walked up the beach with a sea lion following along. She missed it and they never returned. Another funny thing was that as the boat was heading toward the island after the tour, we hit rain. We stopped long enough for them to pass out rain coats, and then carried on. Shortly after the rain coats were all on, and we resumed the trip, the rain stopped.

The next stop was Tortola, in the British Virgin Islands. Months in advance, we had booked an appointment with Dolphin Discover, an outfit that lets you swim with dolphins. We opted to walk there from the ship, as I had estimated the distance to be about a mile and a half. The walk itself was reasonable, but the sidewalk ended and the road narrowed, making the last leg a bit scary. Once we got there, we had to wait around for our time to start, as we were about 80 minutes early. That was alright though, as the dolphins were fun to watch, and there were a few people from the ship we got to meet and chat with. Once our time came, things got rough though. They had us waiting a while for the program to start. Jessica was not happy, and her snottiness started to show. She said to me, intentionally loud enough for them to hear, that she was ready to ask for a refund and leave. Once it started, all was well though. We had booked the cheapest program available, since Jude was with and wasn’t allowed to do the things available in more expensive packages. What we paid for was to kiss the dolphin, pet it, dance with it a little, and have an interesting show. The next package up involved a swim, where the dolphin pulls you along. We found out once we got going that people with different packages were mixed together, and we could have easily done the swim. Each of us would hold Jude while the other swam. I said to Jessica, “We should have done that.” The lady that was directing us when out of the water (and filming the program) must have heard me say it because she whispered something to the trainer, who turned and asked if I’d like to do the swim. I jumped at it! In the end, it was a lot of fun. We didn’t brave the narrow roads back though. Another couple in our group was also on the cruise with us so we split a cab back to the ship. Once we were back, we had a quick lunch, gave Jude some time for a short nap, and headed out to look at souvenirs at the little flea market set up near the ship. Jude had fun there because there are a lot of wild chickens on Tortola, and he thought that chasing them was the thing to do!

On Wednesday we had a day in St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands. This was an interesting place, as it was definitely American, but also clearly Caribbean. It is the only place in the U.S. where they drive on the left too! We started the day heading to the St. Thomas Sky Ride, a cable-car that goes up the mountain to a wonderful view.Then we headed to “Blackbeard’s Castle”, an old Dutch fortress (more of a tower) breifly under the control of the pirate. We took a cab there, and walked through the whole area, which had more to see than we cared to take time to check out, including many colonial era homes and buildings. Part of the attraction is the “99 steps” also, which lead down from the fortress. Once at the bottom of the hill, we were in downtown Charlotte Amalie, capital of the U.S. Virgin Islands. We didn’t stick around long, but walked about a mile back to the ship for lunch and another nap for Jude, before heading to Magen’s Bay. Magen’s is touted as one of National Geographic’s top 10 beaches in the world. I liked it. It was beautiful, though crowded, and the waters were nice. After just a couple hours we opted to head back to the ship though, and it was a good thing we did. We left plenty of time to get back, or so we thought. We were supposed to be back by 4:30 and it was a little after 3:00. Traffic was bad though, and we ended up jumping out of the cab (more of a tour bus), paying the driver, and walking the last half mile. We got aboard the ship right at 4:30. Then we decided to head straight for the promenade so we could watch the stragglers and see how late they allowed people to be. It wasn’t until about 5:05 when the last gang-plank was lifted and the doors closed.

Friday we went to Norwegian’s private island in the Bahamas, Great Stirrup Cay. Royal Caribbean has the island next to it, which we had visited in February on our last cruise. NCL’s island paled in comparison. While bigger, there was far less beach, no ribs at the BBQ (I had been anticipating ribs all week), and less to do. We headed back to the ship early and hit the kiddie pool area (there is a hot tub there too.)

We happened to pick a great week to go. The weather was great on the cruise, and miserable back home. The down side was that after building sand castles on Friday in the Bahamas, I was blowing snow off the driveway on Sunday morning. That was harsh!

It was a great time! If you’re interested, there are more pictures here.

Today is Andy’s 31st birthday.  It is off to kind of a rough start for him.  I forgot it was his birthday and he had to remind me.  I would have figured it out when I got to work since I had it on my calendar.  Then, I decided to give him one of his presents this morning and he didn’t like it.  I got him an iRobot sweeper (thinking it would be great for cleaning the garage floor and laundry room floor).  He wanted to return it, but I’ve gotten sick of the filth in the garage and laundry room so I will adopt this robot as my own.  I have to come up with a name for this one.  We have a robot vacuum cleaner (named Rosie) and a robot floor scrubber (named Rowena).  I’m thinking this sweeper is a guy.  I’m looking at a name that starts with “R” for consistency with the names of the other robots in our family.

Have you heard that breastfeeding is a natural method of birth control?  Well, I can verify from personal experience that that is true.  Little Jude is just crazy about getting his “milkies.”  As a result, it may be some time before I’m able to get pregnant.  I’m not sure how I’ll ever manage to wean Jude since he relies on milkies to fall asleep and calm down.

Jude is a fun little kiddo.  Yesterday, he hopped into a laundry basket (the long white plastic kind) and sat down with his legs straight in front of him.  He wanted a ride.  I got quite the workout whipping him around the house in the basket.  We even went up and down the stairs.  I got a little wild, causing him to fall out of the basket a few times.  I finally had to quit due to exhaustion.

The vibe that I wrote about a few days ago was spot on. Today 19 of my colleagues lost their jobs. Fortunately I still have mine.

This one hurt. It’s good that it is done, as I can rest easy for the time being. However, I had some closer friends get the axe today. One of my best “work friends” is now out of a job.

This career path is quite unstable. I often wonder how long I can take it.

With the declining economy, I am once again reminded that it is necessary that I not take my job for granted. Architecture is a very unstable career. One year the job market will be really hot, and employers will be fighting hard to win new people. When I started my current job at Opus, that was the case. Opus would welcome new employees by buying doughnuts and bagels for everyone. When I started, we were getting doughnuts every week.

A year later things changed suddenly. In just a few months period, we went from having our last doughnut day to having our first round of layoffs. It was unexpected at the time, but we were assured it was a necessary step to get going in the right direction. It was a microcosm of a market correction. In addition, most of the people let go had reputations as slackers of sorts.

Then, a year later, there was another round of layoffs. This time it was less unexpected. There was a vibe in the office that many had picked up on. Work was slowing, and many were left with nothing to do. Another round of layoffs would be a disappointment, even to those who remained, but it would make it easier to keep people busy as the slowing work load would be spread among fewer people.

That vibe is back again. Many are sitting around with not much to do. I have personally billed far fewer hours than I am comfortable with over the last two months. Another round of layoffs seems imminent.

When an economy begins to show signs of slowing, people understandably begin looking at ways to cut unnecessary expenses. Typically, that new building they were considering starts looking like more of a luxury than a necessity. It is often the first thing to be postponed, if not cut out altogether. That leaves people like me with less to do.

So with my fifth job since my 2001 graduation looking less and less certain, I often ask myself if the career choice I made was worth it. (I should be fair, while another round of layoffs appears certain, I am relatively confident that the odds are in my favor to survive it.) Considering the level of education needed, and the energy required to become licensed (I am still working toward licensure), the compensation for the job is quite low. Couple that with the rather manic-depressive nature of the job market and I find myself wondering if I won’t wish I had taken the opportunity to find another line of work if I find myself still working in the field in 20 years. Add in the fact that most firms work like sweat-shops, demanding long hours at no additional compensation (Opus is an extremely good employer in this regard, overtime for non-management is almost unheard of, and they pay 1.0x the regular hourly salary if and when their people do work overtime), and it looks like a layoff is a great opportunity to find something that is more stable and pays better. Perhaps with my computer knowledge, I could get a job in I.T.?

Jessica has been very supportive of my future career options. She has encouraged me greatly in that if I were to find myself out of a job in the near future, she has suggested that I stay home to take care of Jude while I study for and take the Architectural Registration Exams. We both agree that a new career probably makes a lot of sense, but having the license to practice architecture would give me more options, as well as the peace of mind of knowing that I accomplished a goal I set out to achieve over twelve years ago as I ventured off to college to earn my degree.

So I press on. With the full support of my family in whatever comes my way, I take one day at a time, hoping and praying each day that I have a job to return to the next morning.